Five is Not a Family

I’m a firm believer that every experience should be a learning experience. When you stop learning you stop growing, right? So what I learned on my vacation was this: Five is not a family. It might be a clan, or a gaggle, or a mob, or a boy band, but it is most definitely not a family.

Now anyone out there with more than two kids probably already knows what I’m talking about. You go to a motel/hotel/campsite that advertises a family rate. Excellent. Come right in dear sir and madam and your one, two, three…oh dear. I’m sorry. The family rate only applies to families of four. You’ll have to pay extra. You’ll also have to pay for a cot as the room only has two double beds.

Off to the restaurant. How many? Five? Oh my. Well, you’ll have to wait an extra thirty minutes for us to push two tables together. There must be an extra chair around somewhere.

Only two can sit together on amusement park rides. Two plus two is four (too bad).  No groups greater than four on the mini golf course (drat). The waterpark has a family rate (yay!) but it only includes four towels (boo!). It became a running gag during our vacation, and by the fifth day our son joked that we should vote someone out of the family just to keep things simple.

In the end we decided to keep everyone and put up with the inconvenience of being a herd rather than a family. More is merrier, even if it does cost extra.